As we grow as human beings and as adults, we hope eventually learn to establish healthy boundaries. We all know that unhealthy homes, situations and events can wreak havoc on the ability to do that, especially when those in power, parents, teachers, police, and government erode those away by convincing you (gaslighting) that you have no power.
If you are an agreeable person or naive, which I think is caused by the belief that nice is right, don’t rock the boat because you’ve been convinced you can’t swim and for other reasons, it is very hard. If you are a disagreeable person, it is even more challenging because you have to protect to the death.
It is also well known that to change sometimes requires a rock bottom moment or several. I am not talking about addiction or disease, or even abuse. This is the natural order of our lives and how we grow as human beings. We love being comfortable; we absolutely love it. Our life may look like shit to others, or it may look like a dream, but anyway you look at it, there are many moments when habits, things we say, the life we live becomes outdated and too small, too painful for us, and we have to shed it.
Part of the healing process or a new growth requires reestablishing new boundaries because the old is not working.
Those boundaries will be tested.
It is like when a road that you have used over and over again suddenly is shut down, and you have to find a new way around it.
Imagine all the reactions people have to that.
Some will accept it unquestioningly; some will drive along the connecting roads trying to find a way to get back on it, some will want to lead a collective to change the fact that the road is closed, some will try to break the barrier, spit on it and drive through anyway.
Hopefully, more people will see that the road closure was to protect something extraordinary, something beautiful, something that finally was recognized as worth protecting. And they say
“It’s about damn time. I will help you protect it.”
That is when change has happened, and that is when you set a higher bar.
If you think that it doesn’t affect everyone, you are walking blindly.
People are working hard to change those old boundaries.
Which person are you?