I Am Sorry

I was walking home from a lovely evening down at the beach watching the sunset when on the sidewalk I found this rolled up paper attached to a ribbon. I was curious as to what was written inside. The bright green of the ribbon made it seem joyous somehow.

©amaedria

I unrolled the paper and read what it said.
It was a message sent out to a loved one who had passed. It broke my heart.

“I am sorry I didn’t see how much you were hurting.

I am sorry you didn’t know just how much I loved you.

I am sorry for every time I was impatient or anytime I yelled at you.

I am sorry you couldn’t ask for help.

I am so sorry you did this.

I am so sorry I couldn’t save the day.

I will always love you.”

I don’t ever want to write a note like that.

I know how hard it is to cross that barrier to getting help. The brain is a tricky thing. It can give you “ending it all” as the only viable solution to the mental, emotional and physical pain felt.
I don’t think we are supposed to handle things on our own.
I think we need to communicate the thoughts and feelings we are experiencing so they can leave us. If you don’t talk it out it can fester and become stronger until you desire action to get rid of the pain.


Please let that action be talking to someone.


Please.

And if you can’t find it in you in that moment of despair to talk to someone, wait to take action. Wait for the feelings to pass because feelings aren’t facts. They will pass and then talk to someone about what is going on.

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